lemonslice

Sorry, Matthew, but this is dire. You need to adhere to common grammar and punctuation rules if you want people to take your writing seriously.

Not sure what you're trying to say with this piece. It's too short and disjointed at the moment.

You've obviously decided to ignore the submission guidelines. Bad form.

This isn't a story though.

Impressive to get this much told in so few words. However, it's in desperate need of revision because it's difficult to read. Lots of grammar and spelling mistakes, unfortunately.

This is unreadable, mate. Please revise your work before submitting it for people to read. You only come off as lazy and disrespectful when you post it this way.

Sorry, this is absolutely unreadable.

While the subject matter is important, MaKaylee, this is not a story.

There are other platforms more suited for your writing if you want to post excerpts and vignettes. Disregarding the posting Guidelines is bad form.