scorp

Holy. Crap.

Intriguing. A sequel would be real cool.

Yikes.
Creeped me out. Good job!
As mentioned before, this story needs some revision. Some periods are missing, and some sentences have grammar mistakes such as "'We closed now,'". I didn't know if that intentional if the creepy dude spoke weirdly, or a sloppy mistake.
Anyway, besides that, you did an amazing job! Can' wait for more.

Love this! You should see that thing I wrote about the soldier who went to Korea, then returned to the US and the government took everything away from him. Now he's homeless.True story. :/
Anyway, great poem!

it's very simple, but hold such a deep meaning! Keep it up!

pretty short, but hits the same.

hey! i loved this little poem!
if you would like some constructive criticism i've got some:
it seems like you're trying a bit too hard to make things rhyme. not that there's anything wrong with that, but it seems a little awkward. not all poems need to rhyme at the end.
besides that, i think its amazing! great job!