Angola • 14 y/o • FemaleReviews Received
kinda hard to follow through but otherwise great
You are missing a lot of puncation and grammar. You may want to go through it. Other than that I think it is an amazing story. Can't wait to read more!
Your story was kind of hard to follow. But from the parts that I could understand I think it's coming along.
Though if you could add names for the characters and patch up a few errors I think that it could be spot on. Good job! ^^
There is a lot of potential here! A handful of your grammatical errors are quite easy to fix, and that will entice readers to stay longer to read a bit more. If you want some advice or want to ask me to shut up, feel free to message me.