Reviews Received
This is not the best... But I also don't want to say it's the worst. It's a little hard to understand what's going on in half of the story because of all of the mistakes that have been made in the story.
Interesting storyline, except you are missing a lot of commas, and your punctuation, grammar, and vocabulary are kind of sad... maybe edit?
A part from the grammar mistakes and so on. Well written! It's not because there are mistakes, that the story is bad. Writing is about sharing a story, not about telling everyone how good your grammar is. That is for language. Don't pay too much attention to this person. Keep it up! :) ps: Mrald wrote: "with all the grammatical all" that sentence is not really correct either xD and infront of a "but" should be a comma :P
Underneath all of the grammar mistakes and spelling errors there is a good story. Throughout the piece you make many errors such as punctuation, spelling, grammar, repeating, and hard to read descriptions. I don't say this to discourage you, this is a very good idea and I think with enough hard work and time you could reshape this into something amazing, but next time a little more care for errors. Overall it is a very creative idea. Keep writing!
I couldn't get through more than a couple paragraphs with all the grammatical all spelling mistakes. I know you apologized for it but that doesn't make it okay. Edit and fix it please.
Thanks for trying and sorry if I sound mean but honest criticism is better than fake praise.