Optimism101

A nice creeps story. Gives chills. I feel it could use another draft though! Just some simple stuff, the basic more description stuff, less I's, etc. But other than that, you have a nice premise, and a nice creeps story. You're so close! Keep writing! We will keep reading!

So0o0o0oOo0oo, I liked it. It's a good work, it could just use some fine tuning. I'm not trying to be rude, I just wanna help. I think that you did a cool thing with the last 2-3 lines. The last two with their rhyme hit pretty hard and worked really well, but it didn't mesh very well with the top portion. I feel like if you make that top part rhyming, or even just close-ish then it could do a lot better. Maybe try doing some flow exercises too. Either way, it's a good piece, and you're well on your way. Safe travels! Stay optimistic!

You know, i like it.
I always love interesting concepts and plots, especially with fantasies.
It's amazing what the mind can come up with.
Anyways, I did feel like it was a little bit rushed, maybe you could spend some time earlier defining some of the characteristics of a cloud walker and what they do and such. And I know that not revealing things until later is a very fun thing to do when writing, but sometimes it just leaves others confused.
Overall, it's a very nice story, and it has a lot of potential!
Keep Writing! From one author to another.

op

Some more plz! Love your work!

Wow am I late. I apologize for my tardiness. To quote my favorite line, "But somebody came." No joke, in 2016 a game called Undertale was released that had that line imbued in the game. When all hope was lost, somebody came. Somebody supported you. Even if love never comes, you still have us, a community of helpers, or your family, or your friends. A special someone can fill up your heart, but friends do it better. In the light or the dark friends will always be there to support you. I wish you the best of luck in your life.

"So lost." I love the song selection. Faded is one of the top hits I have ever heard. It is on my playlist like 5 times XD. That refference made me sooooooooooooooooooooo happy. Otherwise, its an amazing story, and tells a beautiful tale. Sad, but beautiful.

I know I'm a little late to the review party, but I still feel my reviews help someone :P I love your work. It's amazing, and always makes me smile or cry. I never know which. Keep writing! "Stay Determined!" -Asgore (Undertale)