United States • 22 y/o • MaleReviews Received
Not bad!
As in part one, the descriptions are vivid and you build suspense well.
Bang on the head. Happens to me pretty much all the stories I write, like WHEREEEEEEE did this come from?!
lol this is all my stories
It...It...It fits too perfectly. I don't know what else to say.
I've never been in love either, so I'm probably not the best person to be writing this review. From what I can tell, the main character is suffering from depression, and whoever their crush is is the reason they're still here. I could feel the emotion and I just wanted to say to keep writing, you're really good!
Cheesy? Maybe just a bit, but mostly because that's the way of things, I think. I absolutely love this. You've managed to capture perfectly the way that I've felt many times. This story is beautifully written and conveys so much emotion without being overbearing and wordy. Thanks for sharing it!
I've been here. It sucks.
I don't think I would call it cheesy; the speaker has a sense of self-awareness that keeps it from being over the top, without taking away from the emotion of the story, which personally I felt very strongly. It has good flow. Great work!