United States • 22 y/o • MaleReviews Given
This has the unmistakable feel of high fantasy, with multiple races mentioned in chapter one, and just a general vibe of a huge world to learn more about. It's cool! It's a little vague at some parts, and SOME of the dialogue seems a little forced, but those are minor complaints, and they come along with early drafts! This is really good, and I have to ask.... what was the teacher expecting? They gave you a D? Were they asking for nonfiction or something?!?!
I like this.
I'll be honest, this is hard to read because of the formatting. A few more paragraphs would be super helpful. The story itself feels very playful, and I look forward to more of it.
So many holes in the world
WAY better than I expected going into it. This is amazing.
At least they have that.... I love how calm the tone of this is. It's relaxing.
Wow, that took a turn. I love it. I can't help but wonder what happens to them next. I do feel like the writing could use a little more showing than telling, but the characters feel individual, and I like all three of them, and while it hints at a larger story, leaving it here still satisfies me.
My thoughts are all over the place right now...
Hm.... Comparison to other writers is rarely healthy. There is good comparison, but you've got to watch your step. Learning is a long process, but rewarding, almost never a waste. We all just have to improve as much as we individually can, and while we might still feel trapped by ourselves or things around us, it's largely up to us to change that.