United States • 22 y/o • MaleReviews Given
Very nice. Very punchy writing, communicates the fear very well. The one thing I noticed was the part near the beginning when it talks about diving under the covers as quickly as possible, I would just say they dived, the context of the dive communicates the panic perfectly already. Dives are never slow, after all. :)
Anyway, I really like it. Especially the first half, it felt very fresh and clear.
It's brave to share this opinion. Looking at the reviews is kind of funny because most of them are people agreeing with you, and those reviews are downvoted to -4 or some such number, and it just amuses me that they're completely silent but still feel spiteful and angry enough to do that.
Guys, if you're reading this, just learn to deal with other people having and expressing opinions that are different than yours.
Literal perfection, this.
I like this a lot. I love when poems tell stories.
This makes me think of a book I've been reading, "12 Rules For Life" by Jordan Peterson. One of the rules he suggests is "Compare yourself to who you were yesterday, not to who someone else is today." We're all extremely flawed, and comparing ourselves to other people (or worse, comparing them to us) doesn't help anyone improve.
Wow that tone shift halfway through was brutal. This hit me hard.