Thomas Ray

Wow. Something about the way you write hits me so hard, and the emotion you've poured onto the page. . . I feel it.


"The irony with life is that those who wear masks often tell more truths that those with open faces."
-The Rose Society, by Marie Lu

This was written so well, I can't even....

Very very cool. I don't mind messy poems, and I feel like this one is perfect this way.

THIS IS MY NEW FAVORITE SUBMISSION FROM YOU

Two tiny things I noticed that can be easily fixed: the part where it says "instead of responding, she drew in a breath" (or something like that) is directly followed by her responding, and it made me confused about who was talking. I would recommend cutting out the "Instead of.. "part and keeping the breath. I liked the breath part.
Second.... Actually that's the only complaint i have.

WHERE IS THE REST OF THE STORY? The dialogue is magical. These characters have character and charm, and I only get to read about them for literally one minute? Your description of the setting is delightful as well! Thoroughly enjoyed it

Your writing style is awesome. "And yes, it was very dramatic," gets me every time. The narrator has a voice, and it's a fun one.
Still don't know about the bacon theme, though.

This is so good! I love it.

This is perfect