IanG

If Cal tries to stand up to his mother but she won't stop objecting, that would be more plausible than if he gives in immediately. It creates a bit more tension too.

Credit where its due, you've improved the story since you put an earlier version of it online.

If we all got upset every time something bad happened in the world, we would loose our sanity. You're not a bad person if you can't tackle every issue. Dealing with the present lockdown is a new experience even for adults. Is it any wonder a lot of people find it hard to handle. Don't break the law, this lockdown won't last forever, it can't or economies all over the world will crumble. Surely no government run by sentinent adults will allow that.

I hope things improve for you soon.

If social media had existed back then, Jesus and the Apostles probably would've used it. So too would Socrates, the Buddha and Confucius had it been available to them. People wrote propaganda and biased accounts long before the first computer or the first smartphone.

Please take this as constructive criticism, as this is good for such a young writer.

Why does he ask "did someone live here twenty years ago?" He would more likely say "who lived here before us?" He must know they didn't build the house themselves, and if not then obviously someone lived there before them. The question is who were they? Mum could say in reply exactly when the last occupants left.

You have an interesting premise but the story needs more working on. If you broke it up into paragraphs then it would be easier to read. Then again, paragraphs can merge by mistake when you put a story online, its happened to me.

You raise some important issues regarding peer group pressure and prejudice. Keep practising and you'll improve.

Try writing 'he was proud that I'd been promoted to Principle' or something like that. Her partner already knows she's been promoted and where she works, he probably wouldn't state the obvious. In films and T.V. characters sometimes spell out what they must already know, for the viewer's benefit. In a story you don't need to, you can say that with an inner monologue or, in a first person narration, narrator addressing reader directly.

Try writing 'dad was upstairs working on his computer' rather than 'the computer.' If Mom is in the kitchen working on a computer its a different one than Dad is using.

You portray a child's emotions plausibly, and I like the detail about the spiders webs moving. Perhaps you could've had them find out later if someone died prematurely in the house, or if a previous occupant had a scary experience there.

Could you give us more information on your narrator's background? This is one way

The style of the building reminded me of my chilhood home, though our house was smaller and in town. It stirred memories of my melancholy childhood.

If you want him to have a happier childhood he could think how different the hall is from where he grew up. Either way we would learn a little more about him and it would help us to care about him.