IanG

You wrote some good banter and an exciting rescue scene. Well done.

The opening is poetic and the dialogue is plausible. Well done. Perhaps you could've spread the descriptions more evenly through the story but that's a minor quibble. Congratulations on your 50,000 hits.

I'm not big on the technical aspects of poetry, but the feelings behind this are plausible and heartfelt. I'm sorry for your loss.

This is an interesting, well written piece. Thanks for sharing it.

Overall a good evocation of a puzzling and ultimately tragic episode. You clearly worked hard on researching it.

You might've described the onlooker's emotions in more detail. Is he thrilled, anxious or both as he follows their progress? That said you describe Everest well.

There are tensions in most families, the question is can you forgive each other and move on? I havm't any siblings, but I know from friends who have that they fell out as childern and teenagers. They later became friends again.

Its hard to say when I've never met you, but perhaps others in the family feel insecure at times but won't admit it. Not many families are totally flawless. If yours isnt you're not alone.

"Tbe few customers until the upcoming dinner time."
Try "there were only a few customers between now and dinner time" it flows a bit better.

You describe the characters very well. I like Joey finding wonder in small tbings.

You introduce Subrata well. Yoi tell us whst we need to know without going into unnecessary detail. Yoi develop his relationship with the boy well too.