Kat

This is grande piece but you do have errors. My advice to you is before posting you should reread it five times and if you are not sure then just ask someone if they can look over it for you to help you catch the mistakes because you are missing some words with other errors. Do not be discouraged. You story is good. Keep on writing.

Have a good evening,
Fate🌸

This is an awesome little vignette. What I liked about it was the level of emotions you managed to pack into short space.

Think about two things when you write short fiction like this:

* Dialogue punctuation.
* What POV are you writing from?