Thomas Ray

Kind of like how if you look at someone and assume they're struggling you'll be right, you can look at a problem or realistic story and assume it has been or will be a reality at one point.
If the darkess and depression in this story exist just because, it may do more harm than good to the readers. I mean this in the best way. With extreme sadness, you can bring characters through storms (and therefore readers) but unless there's a note of hope, or even a semi-happy ending, it won't quite be an honest story at all. Emotionally wrecking myself at the hands of a story should leave healing potential, or I'll be left wondering if it was worth it.
I think this has enormous potential and wish you luck on whatever you decide to write. (Whether this story or a different one.)

Hm. This is why I don't want to have a girlfriend. I like having friends.

As with most poems, there are some strange word choices here, but that isn't important. The emotional story it tells is awesome.

Your writing style is awesome. "And yes, it was very dramatic," gets me every time. The narrator has a voice, and it's a fun one.
Still don't know about the bacon theme, though.

This feels like a first draft, as some of the dialogue is a little rough and somethings aren't as clear as they maybe can be, but I'm actually really interested in the Devil's Boy. I can safely say that if I read this in a library, I'd check the book out.
Also, don't feel pressure to get the first draft perfect. I know from experience that if you try to make your beginnings perfect, writing anything other than beginnings is extremely difficult.