Thomas Ray

I like this, the first half especially.

Um.... This is very good. I'm glad there's another part, because I feel personally offended that someone read that notebook!

I'm loving these short segments!

I have one tip. Everli seemed very upset about the notebook being read, but when she found out who it was that did that, she rolled her eyes and moved on. I want to really get into her head, to see how she reacts and why. That being said, I'm super excited to see how this friendship will grow. You've given me a major boost of inspiration. If I found a book this captivating at say, a library, I would definitely check it out.
I'm super excited for the next part.

I'm not sure what this made me feel... But I like it!

This made me sad. I don't agree with your opinion on religion, but I do agree with your take on school. School is way harder than it should be, way too structured, and astronomically overrated by adults and students alike. It has its place, as well as definite benefits, but as a whole it's failing on a nation-wide scale in regards to educating people.
On a different note, you obviously don't think false hope is better than no hope, so my question is where do you think hope should come from?
Keep writing! Emotion poured off this piece in buckets. But also, no pressure.

I'm worried about Everli....

Lemmie just hold my thoughts until I finish the next part.