United Kingdom • 26 y/o • FemaleReviews Received
Gahhh yes!!
I really liked this poem. I feel slang can be used appropriately, and it definitely was in this one. I didn't really run into any snags other than a little in the beginning when I did see a small amount of "forced" rhyming. Otherwise I thought it was rather lovely
Nice story. In very few words a lot of emotions and thoughts have been conveyed. Well written.
THIS is my kind of writing!
I love the way you get straight into the heart of the story, your characters coming to life through their words and actions. It's not over-embellished or described or padded-out with superfluous prose.
In my opinion, your story ends just where it needs to end: without a resolution or any answers. You leave those questions for your reader to figure out. THAT is good story-telling.
Without doubt, your best piece so far. Congratulations.
Personally I feel like this is more of a horror since it involves murder, but it just depends on how you look at it.
I suggest you try to explore the character more deeply. Sometimes among all the chaos, you might produce a spectacular story line.
You're good at describing surroundings and actions and getting across emotions. I enjoyed this short story, it covered kind of a lot of area in a small amount of words. I like how unspecific you were because it led to draw conclusions that could fluctuate between the readers and tie more into the readers' emotions. Great topic to write on and good job of showing contrast of love and despair. Short and strong yet somehow sweet
There's a little bit of grammar errors, and a little bit more backstory about the friend would be nice in my opinion, but overall decent story!