United States • 22 y/o • MaleReviews Given
This is stunning. Good poetry is any poetry that makes a person feel, and this does exactly that.
Emotions are so important! Nice job.
While the execution was really good, the premis is just genius. The ending almost felt too down to earth after the story we were just told, though
Two tiny things I noticed that can be easily fixed: the part where it says "instead of responding, she drew in a breath" (or something like that) is directly followed by her responding, and it made me confused about who was talking. I would recommend cutting out the "Instead of.. "part and keeping the breath. I liked the breath part.
Second.... Actually that's the only complaint i have.
WHERE IS THE REST OF THE STORY? The dialogue is magical. These characters have character and charm, and I only get to read about them for literally one minute? Your description of the setting is delightful as well! Thoroughly enjoyed it
I like the use of bold words. It makes the emotions a little stronger.
Five stars
I LOVE the format.
The question here is.... what is actually too late? What defines that?
I LOVE THIS STORY
This is phenomenal. I can't remember reading anything so captivating and tragic. This story went places I didn't expect, and I'm just sitting here stunned because this idea is so good.
The one, ONE thing that I think could use some work is your sentence length; there could be a few more short sentences. (but personally I feel like the longer, continuous sentences create a sense of helpless repetition that suits the story perfectly.)
Anyway, I love this so much.