Thomas Ray

Sorry for the four stars.... I really like the mood of this poem, it matches my mood right now.

I like this.

I think if I was in her situation, I would be less of the "nobody likes me" and more of "you don't even know me."
But I don't know this character very well yet, and we aren't in her head, so there's some ammount of mystery in regards to what she actually feels.
I'm going to read the next part now.

I can't really tell how long they've known each other for... "love", already?

Hm.... Comparison to other writers is rarely healthy. There is good comparison, but you've got to watch your step. Learning is a long process, but rewarding, almost never a waste. We all just have to improve as much as we individually can, and while we might still feel trapped by ourselves or things around us, it's largely up to us to change that.

The only thing I don't really like about this is the stealing diapers part. There wasn't really a precedent for that, and I guess I could have missed something..... It just doesn't share the dream-like memory aesthetic the rest of this has. I love the last two paragraphs, though. They bring everything full circle, and that's awesome.

So many holes in the world