Lyn

It was a really good story! Great job. I can't wait to read more!

So good! You're writing is amazing and I can't wait for more of this character! I would like a bit more clarity on how exactly she met death, please. I already have a theory, but it's not a nice one, so I would like to be proven wrong. Keep writing you are so very talented!

Can't wait to see where this is going, eek! You did a great job conveying that Georgie liked Shaydon. Keep writing, you're really good!

Very entertaining! You have a few grammatical errors, such as using commas when necessary. If you used the names of the characters a bit more when they talked, it would make it more clear as to who is speaking. I think that's about it. You're really talented!

This is great! You did rly good! I think you could be a bit more descriptive, though. When you wrote "they stopped hugging," I felt you could put a bit more into that. Maybe something along the lines of, "they immediately pulled away, giving nervous chuckles." Other than that, you did really, really well! Keep writing, you're going somewhere!

Is it just me, or do all villains have THE BEST backstories? I always feel like I can connect more with villains than with heroes because villains are imperfect and they know it. Heroes are always so stuck up, it's nice to see a main character that isn't like that. You go, girl!

Beautiful! You're so talented <3

Very intriguing! A few grammatical errors, but those are easy to fix. Keep going, you're very talented!