Don't let your mind win. You are an incredible person, and if I can see that from across a screen it must be true. Brains can be annoying and complete buttholes sometimes, but you can't let yours get the best of you.
I wish you the best as you work through this. Keep going, you're worth it.
Lol, I scrolled down to the bottom to read this, and honestly, nobody would know this is your first story. 195 stories later, still amazing but talented, Proof you've always been destined to be a brilliant writer. Loved this too.